I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
