I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
