about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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