Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
