There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
