didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
