you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
