so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
