i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My balls are so social today.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Watching her eat just hurts me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
