I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize