Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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