dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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