You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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