Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
