she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I am morally bankrupt
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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