haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
