i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
