He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
