she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh god it's open bar.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
