I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize