my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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