Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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