So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
