Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
