the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
