He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
