My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
