GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
