Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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