So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
3 2 1 whiskey
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize