Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
