This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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