THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
