We need to rekindle our bromance
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
