Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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