she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
