Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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