UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I stole a fireplace last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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