Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
