Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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