I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize