He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
