I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
