im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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