so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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