Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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