hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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