I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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