I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
