so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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