apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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