Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
