Girls should come with a carfax report
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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