ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize