I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize