My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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