just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
