i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
