We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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