Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
