girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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