okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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