O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
