So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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