i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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