I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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