Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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