I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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