Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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