I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize