I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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