Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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